Last time I sent out a personal update was through this Newsletter in May of 2023. 

Looking back it helped me remember the creative strands that were alive for me then. The concept of “embodied dying” coming through. And my work with the Community Summit. And my decision to focus on my personal life for the summer (which turned into summer and fall and into winter).

My intention over the coming months is to put together a series of blog articles with a title along the lines of “From Avoidant to Attached” which will document my journey over the past year and a half from a single and solo poly lifestyle (look it up if you don’t know the meaning) into a conscious, primary, intimate relationship.

I spent seven years completely single. Focused on self, career, and healing, I was healing my body from Lyme disease, healing my heart from heartbreak, and healing my psyche from the idealism of my youth that crashed so many of my dreams. As, such is the deep dark void of mid-life. These were rich and important years (2015 to 2022) 

Thanks to a series of epiphanies (a death-related awareness, a homeopathic remedy, and a medicine journey), I had a ton of new and expansive experiences in 2022.

In the fall of 2023 I started this journey with my beloved, Damon Sean, which has proven to be one of the most rewarding and at the same time terrifying experiences of my life. Rewarding because intimacy is why I’m here. I love it and yearn for it and enjoy its texture and richness. Terrifying because getting close to someone exposed my intimacy fears, my unhealed traumas, and my attachment stress.

I’m reaping enormous benefits from the container of our relating. I’m learning for the first time in my life what a stable and secure connection looks like. With both of us coming from insecure backgrounds it has made for an obstacle course of engagement which requires so much healing and trust building. Learning how to be a settled, solid, regulated, and attached adult has been the work of a lifetime.

I’ve love documenting the process.  Stay tuned for more blog posts and newsletters on my unfolding process which will hopefully support others in their healing journeys. 

I’ve been following a Tantric path for many years. The Serpent represents the life-force in all of us, that when cultivated and activated takes shape in a level of aliveness and animation that takes many forms. My definition of Tantra varies. I’ve tried to summarize it here and here’s another version. In 2022, I deepened my Tantric path by designing, in collaboration with two others, a 9-month group experience. It emerged in 2023 as a collective of 21 truly stellar humans to explore a Tantra Cohort together. It was one of the most engaging group experiences I’ve ever had and I’m still unpacking all the learnings – both joyous and challenging. Along those same lines, a few of us brought an Erotic Community project to life in the summer of 2023 and yet another group of us formed plans to start another Cohort in 2024.

Through a series of beautiful and emotionally harrowing unfolding’s, I came to the decision in December that I was in over my head. The depth and intensity and transformation being called forth by our intentions was more than I could integrate.

Our leadership team decided to postpone the Cohort and instead focus on some of the basics of healing, regulation, attachment, and empowerment. These are crucial to build personal and collective capacity for doing the more edgy work of moving energy together. The upcoming events that are building blocks. plus one that is advanced (see me if you’re interested in men’s sacred sexuality work).

• Healing Trauma through Reparenting the Self happening March 2, online.
• Attachment Repatterning in Community with Brynn Bishop is May 24-26, in person. 

Through the wild ride experiences of the last year and a half I’ve doubled down on my inner work. I desire to show up in the world as a more embodied, more integrated, and more alive human. I’ve been doing Somatic therapy since 2006 and parts work just as long. I have a team of professionals and allies in the world that support me in a myriad of ways. Quite possibly the most profound healing experience of my life came from a four day journey into pre- and peri-natal work called Womb Surround. I’ve also been studying belly dance which helps me love myself more, tending to my mystical self, working with a therapist, deepening into Tantra, and slowing my life down as part of a holistic approach to the journey of incarnating fully. 

Contemplating death feels to me like the most important thing we can do with our time. My practice of death musing brings me so much gratitude, joy, and delight for existence. I have found nothing else as potent to transport me to the mystical as death preparation. For me, this is a place of bliss. 

I continue to love to teach and guide people in this process. As such, I’ve been revamping my End of Life Preparation course to keep up with my unfolding and emerging.

My biggest realization is wanting to slow it down. Adult learning requires 10% information and 90% integration. Recently, for the winter series, I expanded the course to six weeks and 12 hours.

Now I’m expanding it again to 13 weeks and 32 hours. It’s a journey of discovery and delight. It takes a time commitment for sure. In my opinion there’s nothing else more worth doing.

My next course will happen from Fall Equinox (September of 2024) to Winter Solstice (December of 2024). I’m hoping to gather input on the best days and times for folks so that I can schedule a time that works for the most people. The survey for best day/time is here. 

With 30 years in community and a strong life-long focus on relationships (Enneagram Type 4), I have developed so many skills and tools. Now that I’m practicing within a Tantric and attachment framework I’m able to experience these tools at a more profound level. I am shifting my work towards intimacy and relationship education and will be working with my partner. My partner, Damon Sean, is a Human Design Projector, which makes him a fabulous coach, guide, and mentor. He’s been doing that work in another sector for 20 years and is now transitioning to intimacy and relationship coaching. I’m thrilled to watch the unfolding of this direction for both of us this year. Stay tuned for more offerings along these lines!