What we know from our own embodiment practices is that grief and eros run the same pathways in the body. Grief is a form of love that often gets frozen due to a dearth of opportunities to express it with support and care. Creating a context to express grief together allows us to step outside of the strict confines of our cultural landscape marked by stoicism and rigidity that exist around big expressions of emotion.

In this ritual, calling forth one’s own erotic lifeforce with an intention and container designed to express grief, acts as a sort of gas pedal to activate and move that frozen love out of the body through the emotions. The deepest sorrows of our hearts will be held in community as we experiment with new ways of being authentic with the entire spectrum of our human experience.

Other Suggestions

As we move into this sacred season, I encourage you to find your own way to connect with those who have passed and to celebrate the cycles of life and death. 

1. Host an Ancestor Feast
Invite your friends and family together and have each person prepare a meal that one or more of your ancestors loved. During the meal, tell stories about that ancestor, the food they loved, and the gifts you received from their life and from their death. This feeds death literacy in community and it keeps alive the memories of your departed beloveds through the tastes, smells, and words that connect you to them.

2. Day of the Dead Stories
Even without the feast, this time of year is a great opportunity to gather together and tell stories about those who have passed. In the process you learn about each other, grieve and heal together, and bask in the momentary delight of existence. This can be done around a fire or during a quiet gathering with friends or family.

3. Visit a Resting Place or Plant Flowers
Another option is to visiting the resting place of a passed loved. It’s a ritual act of remembrance that can connect us to the life/death/life cycle. If you’re not able to be at a physical location that’s meaningful, you could write their name on a piece of paper and put it by a candle, flowers, or a special altar.